Envy

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Envy
Definition- as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." It can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person.

So where do I fit into all of this? You have what you want most. Why cant I do what I love most? Down, depressed and deprived. The 3Ds caused by envy. Me? Envious? No. It's not me. I swear. But allow me this. A way to let it out. Why me? I have nothing. Compared to you, who now has what you want. I have NOTHING. I do not possess anything that could make you envious. For whats worth, I should be the one envious of you. I am being deprived. Of what I love doing. Not deprived. REFUSED. I have to vent it out someway. If i don't, God knows how much longer I can take. If you were my friend. If you trusted me. Why envy? I have no intention of crossing the line. I have my own line to cross. I guess I expected too much. Especially when we were not as close as I thought we were. I trusted you. Why could you not do the same? Never in my life, have I felt so disturbed by something. And I listen and tolerate cause I care. And apparently, I don't think you do. So I guess I just wasted my time. Nothing you say now can take back what made me lose all respect towards what you thought was friendship.

~For those who envy, the glass is always half empty. Never half full~

And if I envy, then there will be two empty halves. Leaving a fully empty glass. And for that reason, I will NOT envy. I will NOT sin. There is still a part of me, the naive side, that still trusts you anyway.